Friday, October 1, 2010

Friday Fiction Revived!



See? Revived! :D

lol! La Pieta, anyone?
*crickets*
The . . . the painting, guys, come on. No? Oh well. Anyway . . . revived!

I have an Avatar: The Last Airbender FanFiction for you all tonight, taken from one I wrote for a contest and then posted because it has too much adult content to be entered. Who knew? I now have the freedom to post the FanFiction anywhere I like! I figured I should let you focus more on writing style rather than original characters and plot-- see how it goes. I'd love some feedback.
This is a section taken from my one-shot titled Between Daggers and Ice, where a certain Firebender Prince ponders the two girls who love him (i.e Mai and Katara). It was mostly for the fans of both pairings and isn't really canon, so you don't need to watch the show to understand.

Below is a section told by Katara as she speaks with our favorite Airbender. Enjoy!


Waterbending took me away from my own thoughts, away from the Fire Nation Palace, away from my pestering companions who could not or would not understand my plight. The turtle-ducks chatted merrily, darting between the thin streams of water I pulled up with my fingers, curious at the five tiny fountains disturbing their usual calm. I smiled.
“Katara?”
Startled, I spun toward the voice, water splashing back into the pond. “You jerk! You scared me,” I nearly shouted, but my smile returned and widened when I caught sight of the abashed expression on his sweet face. “Hi, Aang.”
“Listen,” he mumbled, using Airbending to lower himself gently onto the grass, sitting Lotus position. “I was thinking— you seemed sort of upset today.” Aang rubbed the back of his neck, eyes squinted the way they always did when he was upset. “I figured it might have something to do with Zuko dying— uh, sick back there.” He jerked his thumb toward the Palace— as if I needed calcification. “Sokka said that was a stupid idea, but . . . well, I don’t think so. I guess it’s ‘cause what makes you so special is how you care about everybody. That includes Zuko now, I think, otherwise you wouldn’t be so worried when the rest of us are fine.” Aang’s big eyes met mine, probing and fiercely protective. “The war is over— you shouldn’t have to worry any longer. No one should. Being the Avatar, I hoped most for that after peace was restored.”
I couldn’t stand to see him suffer, to sit and wait while he struggled to convey his own thoughts. A kid should be able to go about his own way without a care in the world, not having to worry about anyone else’s happiness or safety. Even the Avatar. “Aang, I—“
He raised one hand to shush me. “Let me finish. I don’t mean to force you into anything, I promise. But I care about you, Katara. You’re my friend and the best person I know. When you pulled me from that iceberg, your face was the first I saw— in that moment, I had hope that everything would be okay. “ He paused in thought, but continued decisively. “You told me I just might figure out this Avatar stuff after all. You helped me save the world, you saved Zuko . . . and now the Fire Nation has a ruler to help rebuild the other Nations instead of destroying them. Do you know what you are, Katara?”
I just stared, my eyes burning with unshed tears.
“You’re a— a healer. You make everyone feel better just by being there. Right now . . . there are two people who really need you.”
“Who are we talking about here?” I asked tersely, breathing in deep to steady myself. “I told you I was confused.”
“I know.” He looked away and then back again, jaw hardening. Then he stood and held out his hand. “Come with me. Maybe if you see him . . . it’ll help make up your mind.” Those eyes were too determined. Aang didn’t understand. It wasn’t just worry keeping me from contemplating a relationship with Aang.
I stared at my young friend for a moment and answered silently, That’s what I’m afraid of.
I took his hand.

4 comments:

  1. *squeals* LAST AIRBENNNDEERRRR! :) Anyway, that was very well-written and you did a great job capturing the characters' personalities/emotions. Aang is such a cutie-pie. :D

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  2. I enjoyed writing this so much. In fact, I'm allowed to submit something else for the contest, so I'm doing something with Aang! He's an addicting character.
    In this, I tried to capture how out of his element he was in speaking with Katara seriously. Poor baby! Trying so hard, when all he really wants to say is, "Please love me." :D

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  3. I'm not familiar with the storyline but I liked this. A few points: make sure you start a new paragraph in dialog and use italics for emphasis, inner thoughts or dreams.

    This piece had a few stage directions which you really don't need BUT it might be particular to this story so you'll have to decide.

    “I know.” He ((looked away and then back again,)) jaw hardening. (( stage directions))

    ((I smiled.))
    “Katara?”
    Startled, I spun toward the voice, ((water splashing back into the pond.))

    Interesting exchange. His emotions really came through very well! :)

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  4. I like the first set of stage directions with Aang, as I feel his movments are important here. If that makes any sense.
    I'll see about Katara's thoughh. :)

    Glad you enjoyed it, despite not knowing the original storyline. And, in case it is interesting to you, Aang is 12. :D

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